A (sad) story about ponies

Imagine a world full of sad ponies, because somebody has eaten their legs and now they are crawling on the floor like helpless seals. And the unscrupulous monster addicted to pony legs also loves to eat their hearts, which in fact really really sucks. Then as you know, my dear readers, the world only spins because of the heartbeat of small ponies. And the less pony hearts are in active usage, the slower the world will turn around its own axis and the more countries have to stay in complete darkness which leads to a delay of seasons and will let the weather go crazy! But this is not even the worst thing!

Because when we'd refuse these wonderful pony legs and hearts to these monsters (since I'm here I'm somehow bringing this word in connection with Japan or North Korea and I somehow don't know why) they'd go crazy because of their strange addiction to pony parts and even this random army of people in blue coats wouldn't be able to do anything against it:

It is a sunny day, but they have no idea what is waiting for them...

But now back to the side effects of the loss of pony hearts. Because of all the reasons listened up in the first paragraph there will be no snow when the people in this wonderful country would like to go skiing. But thanks to highly advanced technology nobody really cares:

Snow? Bwahahaha! We make our own!

Overall, all these assumptions lead us to the following research question: Why is the world spinning because of pony hearts? We'll see, my dear readers, we'll see.

You can also buy socks in Korea.

Clever thinking of the economy as it is getting colder. Unfortunately you can only buy those serious business man socks. I can illustrate this statement with an example:

And now back to serious field studies!

Shocking News!

Yes, yes, yes, my dear readers!

It has been a while since my last update about scientific problems in Korea. To be honest, during the time of not writing anything I had the most craziest experience of my lifetime. But as it is in no relationship with the awkward shit I experienced precisely two days ago I won't mention it right now. I have one single question - and it is a really simple one: Do you know who Jack Nicholson is?

Most Koreans don't. And this is driving me more crazy than any Laser-in-your-eyes-if-you-are-doing-anything-wrong-lots-of-pain- or I-can-make-random-lollipops-out-of-balloons- or there-is-a-crazy-performance-with-I-do-not-know-things. So please encourage me. Tell me that you know Jack Nicholson. In your comments. In love letters. Or anything else. Then you might get some real updates. With really crazy shit. Promised. But please encourage me now and give me back my believe in humanity.

Back to scientific problems...

Continued working on my paper with the question Do Koreans know how to party? (see some previous entry). Over the past few weeks I proceeded with field research by stumbling into random spots. To lower the tension (as this is serious scientific work and no essay about adventure): There is still no clear answer to this question as I'm trying to work on this paper on the most scientific way possible. So further resources are still necessary. But before I start to prove certain things I will share very important wisdom which is unavoidable when conducting data in crowded places.

Here is the answer to the question How do I go to the toilet in the most efficient way? You could of course use algorithms like A* search to achieve satisfying results but sometimes the capacities of the present hardware may not be enough in certain environments. Just watch Video Resource 1 and read this additional advices:

• When you don't feel sexually attracted to queuing: Avoid the very first line. 
• When you actually feel sexually attracted to queuing: Take the first line and enjoy the ride.

Video Resource 1: How to go to the toilet in crowded places

Okay. So much for the very important beginning. Now to the facts:

Video Resource 2: Jumping and waving hands

Video Resource 2 proves that Koreans know how to jump and to wave their hands. That's an important start so I continued going into more detail by specializing on older people wearing suits:

Video Resource 3: More jumping and waving hands

With Video Resource 3 I rate it as proven that Koreans know how to jump and wave their hands. So a very first step in answering the question Do Koreans know how to party? has been taken. Unfortunately - as mentioned in the very first paragraph - further research is unavoidable.

A kind of magic

Imagine a place that does not exist. Hard to imagine, you think? Actually I've been there. Or maybe not. I don't know - it is fucking magic! Look at this:

When entering this non-existing place the first thing you see is nothing. No people and lots of empty space. But when we took a seat, the magic started to happen:

And then within the glimpse of an eye:

I found this picture within a Zip-File named epäjärjestelmällistyttämättömyydelläänsäkäänköhän and we actually vanished. In some weird places. Like...

...and...

...and...

(Do not drink and do not eat!)

...and also...

...and quite much more in our imagination! As you may have noticed, this entry is quite uninspired. So I'll just end this whole mess with a random post of a dinosaur action video.

Revenge of a broken heart

I love buying awful looking things. You can do that a lot in Korea. And - for being honest - most of these things might not taste THAT good. Today I found a very special drink. We had a hard start, because it was one of the most awful things I ever drank. But then the empty can and I started some sort of very intensive and short relationship. We broke up in some random trash can in Seoul and now my heart is filled with sadness and hate. Because of that, I'm posting pictures of my ex-can, where it might look fat, strange, unfavorable and/or naked including comments filled with negative energy. Because the Internet never forgets. Hahaha, take this, bitch! (Now I'm feeling sort of sad and might spend the whole night crying or drinking or sleeping or playing PS Vita!)

DO NOT BUY! DO NOT DRINK! It might contain Vitamins, but...

...for being honest: I don't think so. If healthy stuff must taste bad, this drink might be some sort of ultra-healthy. Kind of aid for cancer or something. (And doesn't Mrs. Can look awfully blurry here?)

 In fact, it tastes like some very special sort of shit. Imagine, you collect all the shit you can find, taste it and... (Haha! Lithuanian fingernails! You're not from Lithuania, Mrs. Can! Quite Embarrassing, isn't it?)

...take only the most awful pieces of shit, put them into a mixer and... (I said that I will never ever publish this picture in the evil Internet. What should I say, Mrs. Can? I was most likely lying to you! You look sort of dumb! Haha!)

...add the moldy meat of kittens (only for making you also FEELING bad while drinking) and put the result into a can that looks like in the picture above. (The arrow is pointing right on your belly. And it looks FAT! Hahaha!)

Now I'm feeling sort of bad. And sad. Dear can: 

An emperor without a kingdom to rule. A bloodstream without a heart to beat. 

A prisoner for eternity. That’s what I am without you.

Stop! Brain! Stop! A few pictures of things that taste better:

It appeared to look like football...

...but I was not really sure.

Abstract

We tried to watch some football the other day but all these Koreans were blocking our sight. We weren't able to understand any word, but somehow came to the conclusion that they know how to support their team. Therefore, it might be possible that Asian ladies and gentlemen know how to party. In this paper we're going to find and analyze resources verifying that in an academic way.

Keywords: Football, Snow, Suwon World Cup Stadium, Jumping

Introduction

Do Koreans know how to party? This question appeared being unsolved over the last few decades. Luckily, we discovered footage possibly taken from a football stadium:

Dear readers, I desperately need your help to finish this paper! Are there any certified articles out there or need I find out by myself doing field research and interviews?